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I am an Old Soul with a Dark Style. 

Sunday, 13 November 2016

I had Day Surgery and kept control of my Anxiety (warning graphic images)

June 2016, I noticed a small mark on the sole of my foot, about 1/2 a cm away from a mole that I've had in the arch of my foot for pretty much all of my adult life. I even tried to wipe this "mark off" in the shower, until I realised it was a new freckle, which of course is odd as freckles are usually signs of skin damage from exposure to the sun and your body producing melanin in that area as a result, and I don't go out in the sun as it is, let alone sunbathe or catch the sun on the sole of my foot.

Anyway, I kept an eye on it, but soon forgot about it, then August hit and I randomly thought to check it one night and discovered it had grown, and not only had it grown, it had doubled in size, it now had a white dot in the middle and my mole next to it had changed and extended and of course I freaked out. One of the down sides to studying beauty therapy and skin analysis is knowing all the nasty things your skin can do. I went to my GP who put me on a two week emergency referral to a Dermatologist, initially I had some serious issues, first of all my appointment letter was sent out THE DAY BEFORE my appointment, so I got it through the post while I was at work the morning of the appointment, and my post is usually around 11am and the appointment was for 10.30!!! So I phoned and explained what had happened and got a new referral, this extended the time from two weeks to 3, then as the new referral had been made to a Dermatologist that worked in a doctors in a town miles away from where I lived, I don't drive and i'd have had to taken two buses to get there, and with no lift available on the date I was originally given I then had to change that date too, so my two week emergency referral turned into a 4 week hell of worry and phone calls until I managed to get an appointment at my local hospital, and before I knew it I was sat nervously in outpatients waiting to get my moles looked at, with my friend Anna who came along for morel and anxiety support.
I felt sick just waiting for the examination. But my friend was a rock and kept me occupied.
When I entered the room I gave a brief explanation to the lady who was lovely and she requested I undressed down to my underwear and she looked over every mole I had, which is quiet a few. She seemed fine with all of my other moles, even though some had changed over the past few years it was more likely down to further damage than anything sinister but the one on my
foot and my "new addition" had to go. She wasn't happy with them one bit. The new one had irregular lines around the outside, white dot in the middle and the one I've always had on my arch had visibly extended. So again I was put on a two week emergency referral to the hospital...but that actually came through really quick and for the right place too. I was referred to a Plastic Surgeon who did a quick initial examination and then said he was happy to remove them under local anesthetic and he would send an appointment through ASAP. By this time it was mid October and I just wanted these moles gone.
I got a letter through really quick and it was for a date within two weeks (4th November) so I booked the day off work, and subsequently the week after too to allow for healing and nervously waiting for the 4th to roll around.
Now anyone with anxiety will know the wait is possibly the worst bit, and for me what made it even harder was on the letter it says you cant take anyone into day surgery with you. I wont lie. I freaked. Despite what these moles could be I was going to cancel and just hope for the best.

I ended up phoning the day surgery unit and explaining my situation with my mental health issues etc. and on the day I couldn't have asked for a better team to be there. They allowed my husband
through with me to wait in pre-op with me. They took my blood pressure when I got there and it was super high, I was shaking, nervous, felt sick, I wanted to run away, I was constantly on the edge of a panic attack. In fact I think if I hadn't have been distracted by work all the week previous and leading up to my operation I would have entered full melt-down. To most people these kid of operations may seem ridiculously minor but i'd never had anything like this before! I didn't know what to expect, I had to wait around in pre-op for ages and that just make everything worse. But with my husband there, and the loveliest nurses checking up on me, they put the TV on for me to distract me, got me to get changed, explained everything in detail to me so my anxiety wouldn't freak out. I got to sit with the surgeon beforehand and just explain my mind was being a poo. Which he laughed at the way I explained that I had a "logical" side of my brain and my anxiety side is like a small child, hyper on sugar and set on fire, let lose to run around and destroy every reasonable thought.
The operation was in a proper huge operating theater, like you see on tv, lights and surgical staff, and i'm guessing a few intrigued students too, (it's not every day someone grows a mole on the sole of their foot). There was a nurse there, who I want to say was an assistant too, but i'm not sure. she distracted me with talking about my tattoos, said she was a white witch, we talked about my work etc. she sat up by my head and held my hand, answered all my questions was the nicest human to me ever.
The worst part was the injections. I had 8, I think. It was the worst pain. I'd rather have my dental injections. Getting several injections in the sole of your foot is not how to spend a good friday afternoon. The surgeon was really quick, took a maximum of 15 min. stitched me up and I WALKED out of there. I have to put my weight on my heel encase of too much pressure on my stitches because of where they are placed and then was told I had to walk on my heel for two weeks until my stitches can be removed, so as of now that's a week today.

The evening and night after it stayed really numb. I used a crutch to add support as walking on my heal with my wonky legs and scoliosis aren't great when I don't have stitches! My brother and his mates took me to see a really late viewing of Doctor Strange which was amazing. It also meant we got back late enough for me to fall straight to sleep when I got back. I spent the Saturday morning with my sister buying hair colour and eating out, and I relied on my crutch a hell of a lot that morning. Then I spent the Saturday afternoon and evening sulking because I was in pain but wanted to see the fireworks and couldn't go. I was prescribed pain killers but the side effects of them far out weight just keeping weight off my foot and it stinging a bit so I chose not to take any. Although I did end up taking Ibuprofen because I ended up with a migraine all that Saturday and most of the Sunday probably due to stress.
The Sunday my mum and step dad took me out for a Christmas costa! whoop! and then brought me back home and I've pretty much been resting every since, other that another appointment and a quick
bus trip into town my husband and my cats have been looking after me really well and I've just got to wait for the stitches to be taken out before I can go back to work. Which is the most frustrating part. I don't like sitting around not doing anything, I don't like losing money and the worst part of the healing process is what I like to call the "20 min sting" where it just kills for 10-20min for no reason and then it's fine again. I'm hoping once the stitches are out that will stop.

I'll update this with the results when I get them, and probably how its healed after the stitches are out. Thanks for reading and remember to keep an eye on your moles and check your skin monthly at least!!! even if you don't sunbathe!!!!


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